Father’s Day is coming up. This time each year, I reflect more on how I wish to be as a father than how I am valued as a father. After all, it’s not up to me to value myself as a father. If I want to be valued more, I need to work on being the best father I can. To me, this means that I need to strive to be excellent in mind, body and spirit which means a dad bod is not going to cut it.

In case you missed the hype around the term dad bod, I believe it surfaced a year or so ago. It rocketed into pop culture as a term that symbolized a man that had let himself go to some extent after becoming a father. Yet it also was celebrated by some that the mix of a once fit guy who can guiltlessly eat pizza and drink beer is attractive.

Having a six pack or being in Olympic shape does not make you a good or great dad. I’m sure there are dad’s that have an awesome physique but are not putting as much effort into their role as a father as they do with their fitness.

However, having a dad bod could be holding you up from being the best dad you could be.  Trust me, I know. When I was a new dad, I went through the dad bod metamorphosis. It was like I was a butterfly and through the pregnancy, birth and first year of my eldest daughter, I transformed into a chubby caterpillar.

I was in excellent shape growing up and maintained it even through university. There were many reasons but by the time my wife, Bree, was ready to give birth, it looked like I was too. Oddly, she did give birth and I didn’t.

At first, I thought I must have twins and needed to be patient but then I had to stop pulling my leg and yours right now and realized that if I didn’t change, my belly would be leading me into fatherhood. If you are happy and you can take care of your family then that’s fine but it wasn’t just the size of my waistline that was getting in my way.

I was tired. I was out of breath. I had trouble being motivated. I was not pleased with myself. I also knew the health risks that were coming if I didn’t change. I had a kid and soon another one would be on the way.

I literally looked in the mirror and saw a guy I barely recognized. That’s when I told myself that I was either over the hill or going to get into the best shape of my life.

Not Accepting the Dad Bod

Knowing I wanted to be around for my daughters as long as possible and be energetic, playful and super in their eyes, I set out to transform out of that chubby caterpillar.

It was a long journey on a windy path. I learned a lot. I fell down and got back up. I made progress and made mistakes. I changed approaches and through the process my goal to shed the dad bod took on other missions too.

As I gained a mastery of fitness, I needed to gain a greater level of mastery in nutrition. When I had a good grasp of both and my physique had moved along the spectrum from dad bod towards super dad bod, I started to feel the effects of sustained self-care.

Beyond the Dad Bod

When you set out on a mission and make noticeable gains, your confidence, pride and belief in yourself grow. Not only did my body improve but my mind was more focused, quicker, and creative.

Success breeds success and so too did my spirit rise. I was more positive and adventurous again. By not settling for having a dad bod, I ignited a new reserve in motivation that would help me achieve more in business, be creative, and gain the fortitude to start to shape my future.

Each man should decide what is important as far as being the best father possible. Not matter what, we will all be imperfect.

Along the road of mistakes, I have come up with my goals.

I wish to be strong and energized in my body to be able to carry, play, protect and motivate my children to be the same.

I wish to be clear and stable in my mind so I can teach, empower, listen, and inspire my children to step forward this way too.

I wish to be joyful and loving in my spirit so I can bring freedom, care, depth and project my children towards the light as they grow and develop.

On this road, I have fluctuated in my success in each of these areas but I continue to strive. I sometimes think I would have quit if I wasn’t a father. Other times, I think how much easier it would be, if I didn’t have the added responsibilities.

I would never trade my role or my family for an easier path. So I carry on. I have learned to balance these things better which sometimes means one area slips a bit as the other improves.

I don’t want to settle for a dad bod just as I don’t want to settle for being an alright dad. Perhaps more than anything, I want to be a super dad.

The idea of going further as a father has inspired me to use the term, Furtherhood. For Father’s day, I want to share a recipe for Furtherhood (it can even work for mothers).

For a super dad bod:

• Do resistance training with multijoint lifts three times a week, focusing on heavy weight and low reps. Lift your kids if you need to, as I wrote about in The Strong Parent’s Guide.
• Engage in mobility work daily to keep supple, young and moving well.
• Incorporate sprint sessions at least once a week, walk as much as possible and try new activities whenever possible.

*For a few ideas check out: Move Like a Human and Recapture Wild Health

Result: You can keep up, lift, and play wholeheartedly with your kids until they can drive you to the gym.

For a super dad mind:

• Engage in journaling (gratitude, goal setting, stream of consciousness, affirmations, whatever keeps the mind focused and directed towards positive action).
• Meditate to remain calm, centered and patient so you can gently lead your kids to their greatness.
• Stay open-minded and mindful of the unique opportunity of each passing moment in which your children become more and more independent. You truly have super powers if you can be present more often than not and recognize where your kids are at.

Result: You build a great relationship with your kids based on healthy communication, mutual respect and give them the inner strength to handle life’s bumps better. You also slow time by being present and not letting these years slip away without appreciation.

For a super dad spirit:

• Make sure your children know how much you love them (this might be for you more than for them but either way it’s key).
• Bring music, nature, creativity and adventure into your lives, embrace uncertainty and facing fear.
• Discuss deep ideas without imparting your opinions too strongly but instead, listen to the magical and often informative perspective of the spirit of children. This can allow that child inside of you to feel alive again too.

Result: You lift your and your kid’s spirits to a place where the future is filled with possibility, where life is still magical, and where greatness is possible and likely.

There are many recipes to move from settling dad to super dad. This one is based on my successes. If you have any, for dad’s or mom’s, I’d love to hear them. After all, we are all someone’s kid too.