How to Stop Being Busy to Start Being Great

Being busy seems to be more common than ever.  How many people do you know who say they had nothing to do today?  How common is it that someone says they are bored?  How long is your ‘to do’ list?  How often do you catch yourself feeling frantic to get one more thing done? 

“It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” – Henry David Thoreau

As technology improves and we have more conveniences to aid us, it seems like we just get busier.  From getting groceries to driving the kids to school and activities, from getting a workout in to getting a haircut, from dentist and doctor appointments to walking the dog and checking Facebook – the days can slip by.  I didn’t even mention work, family obligations, keeping up with friends, reading a book, watching TV or other entertainment.

It can seem like you’re treading water, day in, day out.

Just writing this list makes me not relaxed.  Some people actually wear ‘busyness’ as a badge of honor, competing with everyone in conversation to prove they are the busiest.  If you are a parent, there is a certain level of being busy that will always be there, until the kids leave home at least.  Still, if you don’t take control of your time and prioritize, ‘being busy’ will take your time and priorities away from you and leave you wondering where it all went.

It can also lead to impatience, grumpiness and even adrenal fatigue, which if allowed to run amok results in a slew of other health issues.

Here’re some things to keep in mind and help you be the master of your days.

Trade busyness for effectiveness and fulfillment 

1. Set your priorities correctly  – Audit how you spend your time and know what is serving you and your loved ones well.  Being busy doesn’t mean you are effective or efficient.  Being efficient doesn’t matter if it’s not aimed at things that make a difference.  Cut out those things that don’t have a substantial ROI on your health, happiness or don’t make the world a better place.  Years from now you’ll never remember doing them anyways.

2. Release rabbit hole activities – Have you ever caught yourself in a Facebook coma?  Lifting your head up after an hour or two, to realize that you were reading and looking at pictures of other people’s shares of cats, dogs, kids and vacations.  Did this bring you lasting satisfaction or improve your world?

How about binge watching a Netflix TV series?  Not a 2-hour movie but 4 hours or more of show after show, only to continue again the next day.  When you take stock and minimize time in a passive trance, you open up your days and create glorious space to actual do things you love instead of living vicariously through the screen.

The news can seem like an important task but how many op-ed pieces do you need to read or angles of the latest stories do you need to follow to truly feel like you are up on what’s going on? Do you even need to be up on what’s going on?  Remember when there was no internet, 24-hour news stations and all there was was the morning paper?  Does all this information serve you?  Will it make a difference?  You can read more about my take on the media and it’s effect here. 

3. Scrap the ‘to do lists’  – Instead, come up with 3 things that have to get done today.  No, not four, just three.  If you get them done – the really important things – then maybe take on a fourth.  ‘To do’ lists make you busy and usually get your day started with an elevated stress level.  Ask yourself, “how can I be effective?” If you need to run errands, strive to do them with a clear plan and at a time when each one will not be delayed by crowds, traffic, and distractions.  What could you do instead that will take you from busy to happy?  A simple walk in nature or a quiet cup of tea while you enjoy some music or a pleasure read, can serve you so much better than squeezing in one more thing for the day.

4. Stop multitasking – It has been made crystal clear that multitasking is the enemy of effectiveness and while women are better than men at this, it still detracts from your potential to do one thing really well.  It also ends up taking longer with all the added transitions, corrections, and distractions.  Absorb the task at hand, be mindful and don’t just get it done.  Give it your best.

5. Be selfish – I saved this for last because I knew that some of you would get angry with this one.  You always put your kids first.  You love helping people.  You are kind and generous.  That’s great!  The world needs more people like you but if you don’t carve out “me-time” then you will burn out.  You won’t be able to continue to help as well and you won’t be as patient, caring, loving and attentive as you could be.  Just like the safety talk on the airplane states, “first, put on your oxygen mask, then help your child”.

Stop holding up being busy as a trophy of a life well lived and embrace the moment.  Enjoy what you have.  Take a step back from the noise of busyness and find yourself, your heart, your deep joy and be great.

I’d love to hear what your ideas are to escape being busy and living better.  Is it possible?  Sometimes I need help with this too.  Let me know in the comments.