Part 1:
This summer, I dropped out of my regular routine and broke free of many of the aspects of my life that limit my perspective, my spectrum of feelings and my creative force. I detailed some of that journey in my last blog post here. The shift that took place reignited a deep and profound part of me that is a ticket to my best self. This place of super potential is inside us all. It’s not only where the magic happens, it’s where it comes from. As a former wilderness guide and multi-discipline outdoor adventure enthusiast, I have experienced “the zone” on quite a few occasions. Admittedly, this was more regular prior to having children and when I use to ignore my mortality to some degree, as a good portion of young men do. Still, I have experienced being in the zone, or flow state, in my childhood, my youth and adult life.
While I’ve had degrees of flow, in intensity and duration, wash over me while paddling class-V rapids, big wall rock climbing with natural gear, free-skiing out of bounds and in the midst of other adrenaline-filled pursuits, some of my most amazing journeys into this ecstatic, transcendent state have occurred in a relatively serene environment.
I have had what seems like a zen experience while being creative with art, writing, music, conversation and other endeavours. My experience is not unique. There are many others throughout history who have accomplished great things by harnessing the power of flow to create majestic feats of the mind, body and spirit.
In flow, communication is essentially intuitive, movement is fluid and reflexive. Here the mind expands to see the big pictures, the often hidden angles and the opportunity for higher performance. It is common, for those who experience this state to feel elation and clarity, for time to move in irregular ways and for decisions to not be cumbersome but seamless and doubtless.
I could carry on and on describing flow, zen, the zone, or whatever you want to call it, but you can read more details on flow state here. I’d like to fill you in on how I found flow without pushing the boundaries of my safety or immersing myself in a creative acts of solitude or intellectual magnitude.
Instead, I’d like to let you know about finding flow while hanging with the wife, kids and dog.
The value of experiencing flow state has been shown to positively affect one’s life and ability to reach new levels of success in many areas. To utilize the benefits of this while being with your family has great potential. For parents, a lot of time spent with their kids can be anything but flow. It’s often a juggling act that involves pulling teeth and catching your breath whenever you can.
There was something that happened when Bree and I took our girls camping for the first time. We actually first met while working at an outdoor adventure organization many years ago. We had many experiences with outdoor recreation in a variety of settings in nature over the years. Ironically, after the birth of our first child we neglected to go camping even once as a family until 8 years later.
It’s a little embarrassing but with the birth of two kids close together, work, an accident that resulted in a bad broken leg and really, a limiting mindset, we didn’t make it happen. However, this summer it did happen and it something magical came out of it.
In hindsight, I realize we flirted with short bouts of family flow at different times. You don’t need to go camping to make it happen but often it occurs in nature, whether that be a park or even playing in a pool with a blue sky overhead and some trees around.
Still, it was really clear to see when two kids, aged 6 and 8, who had never been camping, rose to the occasion, that something special was happening. Without complaint, they embraced the new tasks and within 2 to 3 nights, we began to work like a well-oiled machine. There were still spurts and stalls but the general feeling, communication and competency was beyond what should have been achieved with such inexperience.
When you camp, there is work to be done. There are non-negotiables, like cooking food on a fire or stove; like cleaning up to keep a site from attracting animals; like keeping things dry, so you can be warm if it gets cold or rains. You really can’t just slack off and sustain a safe and enjoyable experience for multiple days.
Not only was this all achieved but the load was shared, the process was enjoyed and there was still plenty of time for fun and bonding. The fact that we had to rise to the occasion together and wanted to do so with excellence, pushed us into a unified experience of flow. With each successful completion of the tasks of camping and the tangible measure of our efforts, we rose in mood and in competency.
What made our experience even more potent and beautiful was the fact that we had to do it day in, day out for two weeks. We went from a rookie camping family to precision squad. After our journey across the country was complete, we arrived at our destination and after a week, went out again. The proof was in the pudding because now we were even more unified, seamless and elated in our family camping experience.
One of the greatest measures of this level up through the power of flow happened a few weeks later when we tackled another 3 night camping trip. This time we arrived at our campsite just before dark because it was down pouring most of the day. Still, we set up camp, with an intricate two tarp shelter over the tent and dining area, cooked dinner and secured our sleeping bags and warm, dry clothes in the tent all in the rain after sunset.
Our girls didn’t complain once. Instead, they made it happen and were valuable assets. We hardly had to instruct or communicate what needed to be done, we all just did it. That night and actually, for the rest of the trip, we were clearly a family in flow!
There were certain realizations I took away from that experience and I believe they can be utilized to create levels of flow in other families, even without camping in the dark and rain.
In part 2 of this post, 7 Tips To Accessing Flow State As A Family, Level Up As Individuals And Still Hang Out Together.
